via Harold Jr.
It’s been quite sometime since I have written about my experiences at the mill. MIA CULPA… MIA CULPA… Perhaps 10 months or even a bit longer. No excuse except the usual. Busy with being busy doing life as I am in yet another transition. If anyone is out there in blog land reading my journal of sorts, please PRAY for my willingness to share the miraculous moments at SIDEWALKHELP.COM. When those unexpected moments of glory happen, it truly is a holy and heavenly touch from above.
I am certainly not short of miracles at the mill this past year. Mia Culpa, once again, perhaps, because we are in the season of Lent, I need to offer up my efforts of writing about my experiences at my local Planned Parenthood in hopes that others might break thru their own fears of hitting the sidewalk and show up and at least BE that necessary JOYFUL face and SIGN OF HOPE in the midst of the despair and tragedy as the cars roll into the Planned Parenthood parking lot. These women and men are desperately seeking to make it quick and painless as they seek an easy solution for their unwanted pregnancy hoping for a drive thru abortion moment, either with that 2 day pill or the quick drop off as the boyfriend and/or husband with a few squirmy kids in the backseat oblivious to the reality of mom rushing into the Planned Parenthood mill to kill their brother or sister as the unexpected pregnancy has become a strangely inconvenient reality for the family’s narcissistic lifestyle.
When I am confronted with this reality on a weekly basis while counseling women and men from the sidewalk against the backdrop of unheard silent screams, I plead from my heart from the weeds and cracks in the sidewalk, “I have FREE resources for you! Abortion does not take away motherhood or fatherhood! You will still be a mother or father grieving the death of your child.”
During one of my pleas from my heart earlier this week, I met Harold and Harold Jr. As I walked back and forth with my literature praying my rosary quietly waiting for the next car to pull in, Harold briskly left the patio area of the abortion mill, decorated with picnic tables and umbrellas, while fathers, and loved ones wait for their beloved as their child is being murdered within the house of horror. Harold reached the sidewalk and spoke passionately to me, “Miss, I am not one of them. I wanted my child, he died in the womb at 5 months and now we have to do this procedure. ”
I shared my heart of sorrow over his loss and wept and prayed with him. I said, “All of heaven is sorrowing with you and he will be with The Father soon.”
He felt comforted and proudly told me that his grandfather had 23 children and he doesn’t believe in abortion under any condition. I continued to listen to him and offer him healing prayers and literature. I asked him if he and his wife had named their child yet.
He said,” Oh yes named after me. Harold Jr.”
I said, Harold Jr. truly knows how much he is loved by you and his mother. I prayed with him and asked him if he would like his child to be baptized by desire. We prayed together and baptized his sweet son Harold Jr. I felt a prompting to ask him to get his precious son’s remains.
He said, absolutely!
I prayed again for our Lord to move in the heart of Planned Parenthood workers to release Harold Jr. little body for a proper burial.
Shortly thereafter, he went inside the Planned Parenthood and about 20 minutes later came out and exclaimed from his rolled down car window with great joy , Our prayer was answered! They are giving me his body and I am to return at 2 pm to pick up my wife and child.”
He was off to Hobby Lobby to find a small wooden box, he told me excitedly.
I said, I know our Christian Catholic Community will happily give your son a proper burial. Would you like a graveside memorial for your son?
Harold exclaimed, “I would love that!”
I asked him curiously, “What day would have Harold been born on? ”
He said,” in July.”
I said, “really, what day?”
He said, “July 27th!”
I cried out in surprise and joy, “That is my birthday! Wow.. I will always hold him in my heart.”
He was very touched and said a prayer of praise to God for the God incidence.
We exchanged cell numbers and he asked me to text him with updates and the photo of the little baby casket I would order with his son’s name on it. He would be back promptly at 2pm to pick up his wife and their child’s remains. In that short time, I ordered the baby casket and made arrangements for the burial and as well as texting him with updates. I thanked God for the miracle of a proper burial for this little child would be buried next to other aborted and miscarried babies in a near by cemetery.
2 pm arrived. I texted him letting him know I am here and ready to help him and his wife. 2:30 pm arrives. No Harold. I call. I text again. No response.
I questioned myself, what happened? Did his wife talk him out of it? Would sweet Harold have a proper burial? Did Planned Parenthood talk his wife out of taking her child’s remains and giving their son a proper burial?
Sadly, I will never know this side of heaven. I wept within. The casket arrived yesterday with his name on it: Harold Jr. This sweet soul truly knows he was deeply loved ever so briefly this side of heaven and he will be forever remembered in our hearts even if he was not given a proper burial by his parents perhaps because of fear and uncertainty.
Dearest Harold Jr. you are now with us in our hearts where ever we go. The sting of your tragic death has been swallowed up by Jesus because of His great love for us. A holy Mass was said for you sweet dear one on this 7th day of March in the year 2020 .All of heaven and our Dear Blessed Mother rejoices and gladly welcomes you home where the sting of death indeed is no more!
“O Death, where is thy Sting? O grave where is thy Victory? The sting of death is sin; and the strength of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” I Corinthians 15:55
Indeed it was just another day at the mill, where the light of God’s grace showered upon Harold and Harold Jr. in the midst of the innocent blood being shed and sold to the highest bidder. God have mercy and come Lord Jesus come!
It was NOT just another day at the mill last week. As I pulled my car into the parking lot next door, I was shocked but not shocked to see a fire truck. I began praying and sticking my baby signs on the public grass area. Lord have mercy! Please help! I pleaded within. In all the years I have been on the sidewalk, I have never witnessed, a scene such as I was beholding. Shortly thereafter, an ambulance arrived. I wondered about all the possibilities and of what happened to this poor soul who thought she might have a simple procedure and destroy her child. I also prayed for all the women inside who were witnessing this unfolding event, hoping perhaps they might walk out. Most women do not have any idea of the serious emotional health risks when undergoing an abortion such as increase guilt and regret, dreams about your dead child, hearing your baby cry at night and not to mention the feelings of helplessness and repressed anger and depression.
I continued to watch and pray. Shortly thereafter, an ambulance arrived. A few people walked out of the clinic, to make way for the gurney and paramedics. It was surreal to say the least! It was impossible to park in the lot as it was blocked. As cars tried to pull in, I used this emergency to inform these men and women, that there is not only is a child being killed inside, that you might also end up losing your life!
A woman completely covered by a sheet was rolled down the death plank as many onlookers stared. I gasped, “oh know, she must be DEAD!” I prayed and prayed. The urgency of these medics was minimal. The fire engine left shortly after the ambulance. I ran over and asked the driver, did someone die today? No, she emphatically stated with little emotion.
I curiously asked, “Why was she covered up?”
She said in a Joe Friday tone, “She didn’t want anyone to see her.”
As the truck pulled away, I pondered her words. This poor soul, looking to end the life of her child felt shame and embarrassment . Why now? Why didn’t she cover up going in? Perhaps, this moment would be a beginning for a true healing of her soul from the tragedy of yet another abortion in our disposable society. I pray for all post abortive women who will spend the rest of their lives never quite recovering from the loss of their child (ren) on the altar of self centered-ness. Indeed, there is hope after abortion and I pray that these women will find a place of recovery. Rachel’s Vineyard is that place with support and grief recovery for all involved in this terrible tragedy and plague in our communities worldwide. Visit http://www.hopeafterabortion.com.
Post Script. The INTERSECTION
I work in Real Estate. I received a text lead from a buyer last Monday. I wasn’t too thrilled by the lead as the buyer was fishing for info on a property he already had submitted an offer through another Realtor. I called anyway and offered to find out about his offer and help him out as he seemed to really want this home. He said, his Realtor wasn’t returning his calls. He asked me if I might help him find some other homes just in case this one did not work out. He was super busy with his work and his girlfriend would be meeting with me and previewing homes. I said, no problem! Happy to help.
Last evening I met this young Asian couple! Super sweet and eager to be a homeowner. They were the ideal candidate with a 20 percent down payment.
After knocking on the door of the last home , we were asked to wait 30 minutes to see it as the owner was not home yet. They were eager to wait. During the 30 minute wait , I asked questions about their life in China under the one child per family policy . They said , it has changed now , but most families still do not trust the government and will abort their second child out of fear. I asked if they like movies… and I shared about UNPLANNED, the movie as this film gives insight into the raw reality of the abortion industry in America.
They wanted to hear more about the film . I showed them the trailer and shared about my work on the sidewalk . I clicked on my photo images and quickly scrolled through to share a bit more about my work in front of Planned Parenthood . The woman looked intently at my photos as I scrolled thru quickly and she exclaimed, “Wait , go back! What is that ? An ambulance ?? ”
I said yes! “Last week a woman came out of the abortion mill covered up as she had been seriously injured while having her abortion.”
She said , “I was inside with my sister she was aborting her child as she already had 2 children and didn’t want another! We witnessed all the commotion and saw her being wheeled out. My sister was so scared she almost did not have her abortion! ”
I said, “how tragic and ironic! I was there at the same time! I will pray for your healing All of heaven weeps.”
She quietly received my words and seemed quite stunned at the turn of events.
I wept within. If only I had been their earlier that day. God have mercy on us.
Now they truly know that abortion kills a child after I witnessed the truth in love of what abortion is . They truly seemed to receive it in their hearts as this house seeking couple seemed quite shocked at the irony that I was there at the same time as this woman had been there with her sister…..a truly miraculous INTERSECTION of our lives last week!
They gratefully received the pro life information including healing from an abortion pamphlet . I also shared a bit about my journey of faith and the love of God pouring out to hurting mankind thru His only Son .
Yes, we did see the house shortly there after. It was not their cup of tea , but perhaps by the grace of God , I gave them a glimpse of their eternal home and desire to never harm an unborn child in the womb again.
Truly it was a holy unplanned moment birthing hope in the tragedy of yet another child killed on the altar of Planned Parenthood ‘s agenda.
I wait expectantly with hope, faith, and love. Perhaps this day, I might catch the heart of a pregnant mother intent on killing her precious unborn child.
A friend from Colorado reached out a few weeks ago and asked if she might join me at the mill and pray as I stepped in the crack of the sidewalk waving for the driver to stop. My friend prayed her rosary and sprinkled holy water in the driveway at PP and along the sidewalk. This particular day, more cars stopped than usual. Without a doubt, I knew it was the prayers. Even with all the prayer covering there was still a few cars that quickly pulled in with a quick acceleration of the gas pedal and an unwelcoming frown. I continued walking and praying with my friend, hoping this day a child might be saved from death.
A short while later, a white SUV pulled in. The driver, a young Hispanic man in his early twenties, pulled in with a car load of kids and a woman in the passenger seat. There were 3 bouncing giggling children and one infant child strapped in a car seat. They were full of smiles unaware of the precarious moment. I joyfully said, “this valentine dress is for your child!” She looked startled and I continued. “God has plans for your baby. Whatever you are going thru, we can help.”
I glanced at the driver and he looked at her. I continued, “we have people waiting right now to give you what you need. Your unborn child wants to live! ”
I caught her perplexed gaze and emphatically pleaded, ” just back up the car and park behind my car over there and we will go over to a pregnancy clinic!”
This young man, heard my loving command, and quickly put his SUV in reverse and backed up out of the Planned Parenthood driveway as the stunned gun toting guard looked on. The young woman was tightly holding the valentine dress I had just given her. Gratefully, my friend stayed at the mill and prayed for another 45 minutes as this family followed me over to our pro life pregnancy clinic.
Indeed, another miracle happened between the cracks in the sidewalk. At the clinic, this young lady was given a free ultrasound and support as well as a photo of her unborn child. From despair to hope in 30 minutes! My friend and I brought lunch to the family as they waited in the car as mom visited the pregnancy support clinic.
Moreover, God’s graces continue to pour over this family. Our pro life community has rallied around to help them with gift cards, and most important prayers. Last week I reached out to my church community with a real need for this family who chose life. They needed to meet a car payment as the father needed wheels. It was a precious moment when I received a generous gift from our auxiliary bishop, who was celebrating Mass that evening as well as other parishioners who dug into their pockets to help this struggling family. My heart continues to leap with joy for all these beautiful generous souls willing to help this poor family living in a small garage waiting expectantly instead of grieving eternally over the loss of their precious unborn child.
We wait expectantly until her child is born this coming July. In the meantime, between weekly calls and visits as time permits, I have been learning a bit about her journey and discovered she was baptized Catholic and used to go to Mass many years ago. Miraculously, there is a Catholic Church less than a mile from her garage home!
Please continue to pray for a safe delivery and gainful employment for her boyfriend and father of all 5 children as they are 21 years old. Unexpected miracles are pregnant with graces. We need to do our little part and suit up and show up despite the ill feelings of being at the gates of hell with joy filled hearts and planting seeds of hope while walking, praying and sharing!
On this first day of the new year, may we desire with all our hearts by HIS GRACE, to encounter the miraculous in those often mundane moments in life while we strive to suit up and show up and be that sign of hope!
It was just another cold and bluster day at the mill on the feast day of the Holy Innocence. For those who might not know the significance of this important day in the life of the Catholic Church, it is the day we remember the slaughter of all male children under the age of two by Herod the Great.
These past ten years or so, you would think it would become easier to stand in the cracks on the sidewalk and be a sign of hope. Nope. I too struggle with excuses to suit up and show up. Often I am that reluctant pro life counselor. I show up despite the cold wind, and other internal excuses urging me to just do it later.
Almost every parking space was full. I took a deep breath and strategically placed my signs in the public grass area and waited for cars to begin pulling in. SEE BELOW. Before long a young couple pull in. I flagged them down with a friendly wave and a broad smile. They rolled down the window. I quickly accessed the situation. The male driver listened and his girlfriend looked down. “ Good morning!” I have help for you and your child. ” Why don’t you turn your car around and we can chat across the street. I pointed. I also have a baby outfit for your unborn child. ” I continued. “Abortion does not take away your motherhood or fatherhood.” God has plans for your beautiful child. We are ready to help! Follow me over to our pro life clinic. We have free resources for you to help you choose life!”
The boyfriend listened intently , she looked down and just as I finished my last sentence, my eyes caught a familiar postage stamp size image of Saint Jude hanging from their rear view mirror. I pleaded interiorly, St. Jude, please help this couple choose life!
I boldly stated, “dear St. Jude is hanging from your rear view mirror, all is heaven weeping!” They seemed startled and they both looked at the image of St. Jude as she tightly gripped the baby outfit in her hands. Just then, the guard interrupted the moment and began frantically waving his hands motioning the driver to pull in. Sadly, he pulled in, and quickly rolled up their car window .
Who knows, maybe this couple changed their mind after I left the mill a bit later. I continued to pray and counsel and just perhaps, Saint Jude being the patron Saint of the Impossible, procured the graces for them to walk out.
Indeed, it was just another day at the mill as cars pulled in with a few women on this day shouting angry words with flying fingers pointing at me as well as gun toting security guards taking copious notes about my interactions with each car I stopped to share with. Despite these obstacles, in the midst of the chaos as I was gathering my signs to leave, God showed up and whispered to my heart through a UPS driver’s soft spoken words, “God bless you.”
As we ponder the coming of our Lord Jesus, I pray for greater gratitude for the life God has given me. The more I ponder the depth of God’s love for me, I am filled with deeper JOY and greater eagerness to hop in the car and race down to the mill and be that beacon of hope and expect a miracle between the cracks in the sidewalk. Often it feels like my little light of love falls between the cracks in the sidewalk as cars filled with pregnant women, and contraceptive minded women, drive past me with barely a glance at my smile with a quick acceleration of the gas pedal, as the guards motion them inside the Planned Murderhood parking lot. Indeed it is yet another murder day at the mill and all of heaven weeps.
I mourn this Advent season. Another estimated million children have been murdered in the US alone on the altar of convenience this past year. Tragically, too many souls have taken the blue pill: “it’s my body and my choice.” Recent statistics state that their has been a drop in abortions nationwide. However, I beg to differ. Do these stats include the morning after pill, or all the children murdered by contraception?
This past year, I spent many days at the mill , with a broad smile of hope attempting to pierce the darkness of fear surrounding women with loving pro life signs, literature, and adorable baby clothes and most important, a listening ear and a willing heart to help these women choose life . Perhaps, I pray I gained a bit more compassion and I am learning to receive His presence in these broken souls seeking a way out of their suffering and pain.
Come Lord Jesus Come… Come into my own stubborn heart and soften it with the light of your unfailing and unquenchable accepting love. I too am a broken vessel needing mercy so I might truly be a channel of mercy in every mundane moment this side of eternity while at the mill or in community life.
Let us pray this Advent Season and into the new year a daily prayer to the HOLY SPOUSES Patrons of the UNBORN for the repose of the souls of not only the ABORTED children in the womb, moreover, the DECEASED IN -VITRO Babies as well as our beloved MISCARRIED BABIES.
Holy Mary, who carried Jesus in your womb, St. Joseph, who loved and guarded Mother and Child; Holy Spouses; Patrons of the Unborn, pray for these precious children, deeply loved by The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit. Indeed they have been fearfully and wonderfully made. As the Psalmist writes, “You formed my inmost being; you knit me in my mother’s womb.” Help us NEVER forget their brief precious lives and the dignity they deserve. These immortal souls now embraced in the Father’s love, we beg you to heal mothers, and families who weep for their unforgettable children, and may we witness to the beauty of every human life at the moment of conception despite their tragic death.
Happy New Year! We are a few weeks ago from the anniversary of the most unjust law in our land. We must pray and act to overturn Roe vs. Wade. The war continues as babies die mercilessly by the thousands upon thousands as Planned Parenthood’s slogan “My body, my choice” feeds the narcissism of women who choose to abort her baby by birth control, abortion and the morning after pill.
THE TRUTH IS: MY BODY: NOT YOUR CHOICE.
Take a moment and say a prayer for the unborn and join me and thousands of others at your local mill and pray a rosary and be bold and help men and women see it is not their body or their choice. Be the voice of the voiceless. They are the poorest of the poor. Womb-less , homeless, and immigrants truly without a home. Unloved and unwanted. These precious babies in the womb are not allowed into our world because their mother has bought the LIE .. it is their body and their choice. GOD PLEASE HELP US TO SPEAK THE TRUTH IN LOVE.
It was one of those days at the mill last Saturday. I showed up with love in my heart and smiles and bubbling joy to be that sign of hope in the midst of much darkness and despair. The guards were at their finest. They were ready with gun in hip to push the cars into the planned parenthood parking lot with an abrupt wave as I attempted to get the drivers to chat a bit and take my literature.
The cars turned in and I smiled and motioned with one hand and literature in the other to roll down their car window. I battled with the guard who was motioning the cars to come in and ignore my smile. This particular day I wasn’t having much success to say the least.
An SUV pulled in and I could see the rosary dangling from the rear view mirror and the woman looking away from me and I hoped her eye might catch my signs, “ask to see your ultrasound sign or Your baby wants to live!”
A young black couple in their mid twenties jumped out of the car and she walked briskly ahead of him as I pleaded, “I can help.” Your baby wants to live! Just ask to see your ultrasound.” The door slammed shut and I prayed in my heart, Blessed Mother please help this couple. I continued walking back and forth praying my baby rosary hoping perhaps this Saturday, I might see a miracle between the cracks in the sidewalk.
Within a few moments, another woman leaves the mill, I make eye contact with her and waved and gave her a warm smile. She quickly got in her car, I armed myself with literature hoping I might share a bit before she pulled out of the driveway. Indeed she shared with me, not the other way around! As she pulled out. She stopped and spilled angry words of utter disgust at my signs and repeated , “You should be ashamed of yourself for what you do. ”
I said nothing as she continued to repeat over and over You should be ashamed… in a mocking and belittling tone as she turned out of the parking lot, I shouted out loud with the guards carefully observing and cameras catching everyone’s movement:
“I AM NOT ASHAMED OF THE GOSPEL because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes first to the Jew, then to the Gentile. “
AMEN AND AMEN. It was just another day at the mill…. story to be continued…..
WOW…I just wanted to share with you this evening some TRULY GREAT NEWS! There is a new pro life billboard in our community! NO FAKE NEWS HERE! 🙂 A group of wonderful pro life people are helping to support this billboard! Over 167,000 cars drive by weekly. It is directly across from a Christian High School and around the corner from a secular high school. PLEASE PRAY FOR MANY BABIES TO BE SAVED Visit PRO LIFE ACROSS AMERICA! LINK BELOW!
Life in motion. It was one of those days. I jumped out of my car, loaded up my doggy stroller with pro life signs and literature as I was ready to take the next right step and be a listening ear, or give an encouraging word, and most important, a smiling face full of hope and joy despite the tragic reality of innocent lives being sacrificed on this sunny afternoon at our local Planned Murder-hood.
Yes indeed, it was another day in our town as I heard the church bells ringing in the near distance as a haunting reminder how few parishioners join the very few of us who suit up and show up on the sidewalk weekly and sometimes daily to be that caring voice for these unborn babies whose security in the womb will be ripped away.
I locked my car with a quick beep and hurriedly walked over to the mill. I juggled holding onto my box with one hand and steering my stroller with the other while hoping I would make it to the sidewalk without a spill.
Not quite. I hit a bump in the entrance and my box spilled out into the Planned Parenthood driveway and scattered my literature everywhere. Thankfully, there was not a car yet pulling in and I scooped everything back into the box and sighed at the mess within and hoped I would find what I needed without losing precious time looking for that perfect piece of literature to give out. My plastic box looked a bit like a messy desk to say the least! Disorganized was an understatement. I hurriedly pushed my signs into the grass, as a car pulled in. I waved, their window was already rolled down. A Hispanic couple in their mid thirties, complete with two childless car seats in the back seat waited to find out what I was handing out.
” Are you here for birth control?” I asked with concern and a sweet smile.
The man looked a bit shocked at my candor and hesitantly said, “yeah, I am.” His wife looked on with a bit of curiosity.
I continued. “Have you heard of natural family planning? He gave me a blank stare. You are coming in for a vasectomy today?”
He nodded, yes.
The guard immediately motioned him to park his car I continued sharing and handed him a handful of literature from my box, and unbelievable, the info about the dangers of vasectomy was at the top of my box! I chuckled within and thanked my angel for making it a bit easier to find the info. It was there on top because of my little stumble!
I stepped back from his car window and he proceeded to park his car as I asked him to come over and we will continue to chat. Within a couple of minutes, his wife walked into the mill and he walked over to the sidewalk as the guard carefully watched us. I thanked him for taking a few moments to chat with me.
“Before you go in for your appointment, please read this short pamphlet I pleaded from my heart. This is not God’s will for your family. Most people do not know how using contraception is contrary to life and most important God’s will for you and your family.” I emphatically shared.
He looked surprised and I continued sharing the risk of prostrate cancer and how this act is not trusting God to provide. I asked him if I might pray with him. I asked God to give him courage and wisdom to trust Him. He prayed silently along with me. Just as I finished my prayer, I looked up and his wife was beckoning him to come inside for his appointment. He walked away and he promised me he would read what I gave him before he had his procedure.
He walked into the mill and I continued walking and praying my rosary. I waited in hope that he might have the courage to walk out. I knew in my heart, anything was possible with God, but knowing the realities of the temptations ever before families in this contraception minded society. I braced myself for the reality that he might sadly succumb to the pressures inside the mill, to just do it and ignore the still small voice within his heart.
15 minutes passes and I look up at the mill and see the door open.
I was in shock. He was walking boldly out of the mill with his wife trailing behind!
My heart surged within and I thanked God and waved at him. He looked at me from afar and gave me TWO THUMPS UP! I mirrored back THUMBS UP with smiles and joy bubbling over within.
Thank you God, I repeated, Thank you God in my heart . Bless this family for their obedience to trust you!
As he exited the mill, with the guard watching closely, he and his wife had the biggest smile and tears were forming in his eyes. “Thank you”. He said.
I said,” God will bless you and provide for your family and your future children! You are trusting God. THANK YOU!
Indeed, one this day, another MIRACLE at the mill happened between the cracks in the sidewalk!
Let’s pray fervently for all those families who are using contraception of all kinds from pills, IUD’s , patches, the morning after pill, tubes tied, and vasectomies. A great resource to share with others is the website and free podcast by Janet E Smith, Contraception, WHY NOT? Great resource to educate yourself and share with others to make the choice ALWAYS for life! www.janetesmith.com