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Advent Days

As we ponder the coming of our Lord Jesus, I pray for greater  gratitude for the life God has given me.  The more I ponder the depth of God’s love for me, I am filled with deeper JOY and  greater eagerness to hop in the car and race down to the mill and be that beacon of hope and expect a miracle between the cracks in the sidewalk. Often it feels like my little light of love falls between the cracks in the sidewalk as cars filled with pregnant women, and contraceptive minded women, drive past me with barely a glance at my smile  with a quick acceleration of the gas pedal, as the guards motion them inside the Planned Murderhood parking lot.  Indeed it is yet another murder day at the mill and all of heaven weeps.

I mourn this Advent season. Another estimated million children have been murdered in the US alone  on the altar of  convenience this past year. Tragically, too many souls have taken the blue pill: “it’s my body and my choice.” Recent statistics state that their has been a drop in abortions  nationwide. However, I beg to differ. Do these stats include the morning after pill, or all the children murdered by contraception?

This past year, I spent many days at the mill , with a broad smile of hope  attempting to pierce the darkness  of fear surrounding women with loving pro life signs, literature, and adorable baby clothes and most important, a listening ear and a willing heart to help these women choose life . Perhaps, I pray I gained a bit more compassion  and I am learning  to receive His presence in these broken souls seeking a way out of their suffering and pain.

Come Lord Jesus Come… Come into my own stubborn heart and soften it with the light of your unfailing and unquenchable accepting love. I too am a broken vessel needing mercy so I might truly be a channel of mercy in every mundane moment this side of eternity while at the mill  or in community life.

Let us pray this Advent Season and into the new year  a daily prayer to the HOLY SPOUSES Patrons of the UNBORN for the repose of the souls of not only the ABORTED children in the womb, moreover, the DECEASED IN -VITRO Babies as well as our beloved MISCARRIED BABIES.

Holy Mary, who carried Jesus in your womb, St. Joseph, who loved and guarded Mother and Child; Holy Spouses; Patrons of the Unborn, pray for these precious children, deeply loved by The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit. Indeed they have been fearfully and wonderfully made. As the Psalmist writes, “You formed my inmost being; you knit me in my mother’s womb.”  Help us NEVER forget their brief precious lives and the dignity they deserve.  These immortal souls now embraced in the Father’s love, we beg you  to heal mothers, and families who weep for their unforgettable children, and may we  witness to the beauty of every human life at the moment of conception despite their tragic death.

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Happy New Year! We are a few weeks ago from the anniversary of the most  unjust law in our land. We must pray and act to overturn Roe vs. Wade.   The war continues as babies die mercilessly by the thousands upon thousands as Planned Parenthood’s slogan  “My body, my choice” feeds the narcissism of  women who choose to abort her baby  by birth control, abortion and the morning after pill.

THE TRUTH IS:                     MY BODY: NOT YOUR CHOICE.

Take a moment and say a prayer for the unborn and join me and thousands of others at your local mill and pray a rosary and be bold and help men and women see it is not their body or their choice.  Be the voice of the voiceless. They are the poorest of the poor. Womb-less , homeless, and immigrants  truly without a home.  Unloved and unwanted. These precious babies in the womb  are not allowed into our world because their mother has bought the LIE .. it is their body and their choice. GOD PLEASE HELP US TO SPEAK THE TRUTH IN


baby-at-7-weeksbaby wants to liveFullSizeRender (5)

It was one of those days at the mill last Saturday.   I showed up with love in my heart and smiles and bubbling joy to be that sign of hope in the midst of much darkness and despair.   The guards were at their finest.   They were ready with gun in hip to push the cars into the planned parenthood parking lot with an abrupt wave as I  attempted to get the drivers to chat a bit and take my literature.

The cars turned in and I smiled and motioned with one hand and literature in the other to roll down their car window. I battled with the guard who was motioning the cars to come in and ignore my smile. This particular day I wasn’t having much success to say the least.

An SUV pulled in and I could see the rosary dangling from the rear view mirror and the woman looking away from me and I hoped her eye might catch my signs, “ask to see your ultrasound sign or Your baby wants to live!”

A young black couple in their mid twenties jumped out of the car and she walked briskly ahead of him as I pleaded, “I can help.” Your baby wants to live!  Just ask to see your ultrasound.”   The door slammed shut and I prayed in my heart, Blessed Mother please help this couple. I continued walking  back and forth praying my baby rosary hoping perhaps this Saturday, I might see a miracle between the cracks in the sidewalk.

Within a few moments, another woman leaves the mill, I make eye contact with her and waved and gave her a warm smile. She quickly got in her car, I armed myself with literature hoping I might share a bit before she pulled out of the driveway. Indeed she shared with me, not the other way around!  As she pulled out. She stopped and spilled angry words of utter disgust at my signs and repeated , “You should be ashamed of yourself for what you do. ”

I said nothing as she continued to repeat over and over You should be ashamed… in a mocking and belittling tone as she turned out of the parking lot, I shouted out loud with the guards carefully observing and cameras catching everyone’s movement:

“I AM NOT ASHAMED OF THE GOSPEL because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes first to the Jew, then to the Gentile. “

AMEN AND AMEN. It was just another day at the mill….  story to be continued…..


WOW…I  just wanted to share with you  this evening some  TRULY GREAT NEWS!   There is a new  pro life billboard in our community!  NO FAKE NEWS HERE! 🙂   A group of wonderful pro life people are helping to support this billboard! Over 167,000 cars drive by weekly. It is  directly across from a Christian High School and around the corner from a secular high school. PLEASE PRAY FOR MANY BABIES TO BE SAVED   Visit PRO LIFE ACROSS AMERICA! LINK BELOW!  billboard


Life in motion. It was one of those days. I jumped out of my car, loaded up my  doggy stroller  with pro life signs and literature as I was ready to take the next right step and be a listening ear, or give an encouraging word, and most important, a smiling face  full of hope and  joy despite the tragic reality  of innocent lives being sacrificed on this sunny afternoon at our local Planned Murder-hood.

Yes indeed, it was another day in our town as I heard  the church bells ringing in the near distance as a haunting reminder how few parishioners join the very few of us who suit up and show up on the sidewalk weekly and sometimes daily to be that caring voice for these unborn babies whose security in the womb will be ripped away.

I locked  my car with a quick beep and hurriedly walked over to the mill.  I juggled holding onto my box  with one hand and steering my stroller with the other while hoping I would make it to the sidewalk without a spill.

Not quite. I hit a bump in the entrance and my box spilled out into the Planned Parenthood driveway and scattered  my literature everywhere.  Thankfully,  there was not a car yet pulling in and  I scooped everything back into the box and sighed at the mess within and hoped I would find what I needed without losing precious time  looking for that perfect piece of  literature  to give out. My plastic box looked a bit like a messy desk to say the least!  Disorganized was an understatement.  I hurriedly pushed my signs into the grass, as a car pulled in. I waved, their window was already rolled down. A Hispanic couple in their  mid thirties, complete with two childless  car seats in the back seat waited to find out what I was handing out.

” Are you here for birth control?” I asked with concern and a sweet smile.

The man looked a bit shocked at my candor and  hesitantly said,  “yeah, I am.” His wife looked on with a bit of curiosity.

I continued. “Have you heard of natural family planning? He gave me a blank stare. You are coming in for a vasectomy today?”

He nodded, yes.

The guard immediately motioned him to park his car I continued sharing and handed him  a handful of literature from my box, and unbelievable, the info about the dangers of vasectomy was at the top of my box!  I chuckled within and thanked my angel for making it a bit easier to find the info. It was there on top because of my little stumble!

I stepped back from his car window and he proceeded to park his car as I asked him to come over  and we will continue to chat.  Within a couple of minutes, his wife walked into the mill and he walked over to the sidewalk as the guard carefully watched us. I thanked him for taking a few moments to chat with me.

“Before you go in for your appointment, please read this short pamphlet I pleaded from my heart. This is not God’s will for your family.  Most people do not know how using contraception  is contrary to life and most important God’s will for you and your family.” I emphatically shared.

He looked surprised and I continued sharing the risk of prostrate cancer and how this act is not trusting God to provide. I asked him if I might pray with him. I asked  God to give him courage and wisdom to trust Him. He prayed silently along with me. Just as I finished my prayer, I looked up and his wife was beckoning him to come inside for his appointment. He walked away and he promised me he would read what I gave him before he had his procedure.

He walked into the mill and I continued  walking and praying my rosary. I waited  in hope that he might have the courage to walk out. I knew in my heart, anything was possible with God, but knowing the realities of the temptations ever before families in this contraception minded society.  I braced myself for the reality that he might sadly succumb to the pressures inside the mill, to just do it and ignore the still small voice within his heart.

15 minutes passes and I look up at the mill and see the door open.

I was in shock. He was  walking boldly out of the mill with his wife trailing behind!

My heart surged within and I thanked God and waved at him. He looked at me from afar and gave me TWO THUMPS UP!  I mirrored back THUMBS UP with smiles and joy bubbling over within.

Thank you God, I repeated, Thank you God in my heart . Bless this family for their obedience to trust you!

As he exited the mill, with the guard watching closely, he and his wife had the biggest smile and tears were forming in his eyes. “Thank you”.  He said.

I said,” God will bless you and provide for your family and your future children! You are trusting God. THANK YOU!

Indeed, one this day, another MIRACLE at the mill  happened between the cracks in the sidewalk!

Let’s pray fervently for all those families who are using contraception of all kinds from pills, IUD’s , patches, the morning after pill, tubes tied, and vasectomies.  A great resource to share with others is the website and free podcast by Janet E Smith, Contraception, WHY NOT? Great resource to educate yourself and share with  others to make the choice ALWAYS  for life!




It’s been a while since I have posted about my experiences at the mill. I don’t really have a good excuse why I have not blogged as of late other than distraction and busyness in the mundane things of life kept me from sharing a bit of my joy, sorrow, and miracles.  I know I am blessed if one person reads my blog or no one reads it. My stats are next to nothing. It was never for the other anyway. Ultimately, I am writing for the Other and as my blogging is more of my online journal to be a sign of hope and encouragement to others, even if I write to an audience of one!

Last weekend I was at the mill and a young black lady pulled into PP and I  quickly motioned with my hand to get her attention with a smile and the motion to roll down her window. I felt a rush of emotion as our hearts connected with the guard looking on and she eagerly took my literature.

She pulled into PP and parked her car and came out to continue our conversation as the guard glared at me. By the grace of God, she opened her heart even more and listened about the dangers of birth control and most important practicing chastity until married. She had come into the mill for a morning after pill as she was sure she was pregnant.

Convinced that I was there for her and cared about her confusing emotions of fear and uncertainty,  she walked past the PP guard and took my suggestion to park her car outside PP  and we would walk over to the local pro life clinic, one street over.

Within minutes , we were walking  over to the clinic. She continued to share her battered, broken and lonely heart with me. I listened.  We arrived at the clinic and  I stayed with her for the next hour as the women helped her fill out the necessary paperwork. These courageous women showered much love on her and indeed supported her to choose  life in the midst of her busy academic life, angry mother, and supportive boyfriend who did not know of her possible pregnancy as she wanted to shield it from him because of the wrath of her mom.  .

A little life saved perhaps between the cracks in the sidewalk  on this Saturday at the mill. Pray for us Blessed Mother as we do the Father’s work in our communities spilling over with fear, desperation and lust. Indeed, You my sweet Jesus  must increase and I must decrease.2012 photos 048



The Baby Dress

Connections.  Each day  I awake with anticipation and wonder with a prayer from my heart. “Lord, I am willing. Please use me to plant and water your seeds with little acts of service from a loving heart and not a dutiful heart.”  Indeed,  a  glance  of love from the heart catching the other’s eye,  may transcend mundane moments  into heaven sent grace filled moments.

Last Saturday was a dot connecting grace filled moment. I showed up at a Planned Parenthood with a few of my pro life signs and a baby dress. I prayed, Lord use me I am willing to do my little part to smile, wave and encourage the driver to stop and chat as they pull in to the mill.

The car pulled in, I caught the eye of the passenger. He seemed to be in his late teens. I motioned him to roll down his window. In one of my hands I carried a red, white, and blue frilly baby dress. He rolled it down as I smiled warmly and noticed the young black teen gripping the wheel and glancing at the adorable baby dress.

I said, “I can help. Here’s a baby dress for you and your baby. We have resources to help you. Your sweet baby wants to live.” 

They both paused and the boyfriend reached for the dress. Within seconds, the pregnant teenager, begins sobbing uncontrollably. Another pro life counselor reaches the driver side and we both encourage her to turn her car around and talk.

30 minutes later this young couple felt our love, support to help them choose life and walk the journey of deepening faith, hope, and love.

Thank you Jesus for allowing me to suit up and show up. May all pregnant women contemplating abortion see their beautiful child as a heavenly sent gift. This soul  longs to be born and experience the beauty of your awesome creation from natural birth to natural death. Lord give us willing feet and rescue the innocent from pending death.

Romans 10:15

“And how can anyone preach unless they are sent? As it is written, How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news.”

Luke 10:2 

“The harvest is abundant but the laborers are few; so ask the master of the harvest to send out laborers for his harvest. “mommy-let-me-live



Adoption !!! YES.. ADOPTION!!

adoption choice

“A Person is a person no matter how small.” Dr. Suess

Not Left Behind

baby John, brandy's baby

A few years ago  I wrote a blog  about a young college age lady who chose life and adoption for her daughter! I chased down her car and offered to help her. She stopped her car as she thought I needed help!  It was an emotional 7 months of helping her make better life choices. With the help of a Catholic pro life  attorney, we found the perfect family for her little girl saved from abortion.  Everything was going seemingly well until two weeks before her due date. The birth mother had a change of heart and decided to keep her little girl and raise her as a single mom. It was devastating news as the adoptive family had  invested much time, emotions and financial support all knowing that the birth mother could change her mind at her whim and not necessarily making a wise decision given she was barely supporting herself on government aid.

This beautiful soul was born on Saint Martha’s feast day with a full head of curly black hair and a determined spirit!  Although deeply disappointed, I continued to pray for this single mom and her new child and other 3 year old son from a previous relationship and even had the opportunity to baptize this little sweet one, at her baby shower, knowing this child would not be baptized any time soon!  It broke my heart as I knew it would have been the best if this young lady had the courage to give her little girl up to a family to raise her in a loving Christian home.

I prayed for this young lady  and  I would get updates on her progress via FACEBOOK over the past two years. FAST FORWARD.

A few months ago I received a text from this young lady! I was surprised  to hear from her with this text: Is this Vanessa? I was looking for your number everywhere. How are you? Well, I am pregnant again and I went to Planned Parenthood, but I couldn’t do it.”

WOW.. was I surprised and grateful to God that she had reached out again. I quickly texted her and called. She poured her heart out and I experienced a beautiful more humble soul needing a place to stay as she was kicked out of her parents. Her willingness to give this child of 20 weeks to an adoptive couple was such a huge step in the right direction.

Within a few weeks, we found a home for unwed mothers in the San Diego area. She chose an adoptive family and is working on her mothering skills and finding employment to grow in grace and service to God and others.  I was sad to hear her daughter is living with the dad’s family and she rarely sees her because she cannot afford to take care of herself and her 5 year old son. Nevertheless, I continue to pray for all of them and I am amazed at how God works all things together for good and she has chosen a loving Catholic family to raise her son!  I have attached photos of  her daughter rescued from the mill as I chased her car down the street almost 3 years ago and a picture of her son who will now have the opportunity to be a part of  a loving Catholic family. She has chosen the best, open adoption for her son. Please pray for all unwed moms for courage to love and do what is best despite their feelings.  This little boy, still growing in her womb, was NOT LEFT BEHIND at the abortion mill to become another statistic despite the pressure this brave and courageous single mom, tempted to abort.  She wisely choose  life with the support of  a caring pro life community!